Madness Dialogue by Gary Beck

Hippo Pod by Paul Maritz
[CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)],
from Wikimedia Commons

(An institutional room. Enter Joe and Tom. Tom pretends to phone.)

Tom: Hello, Joe?

Joe: Yeah. Who’s this?

Tom: Tom.

Joe: How are ya, Tom?

Tom: Okay. How are you?

Joe: I’m fine. What can I do for you?

Tom: Listen, Joe. I need six hippopotamuses.

Joe: Sure, Tom. Do ya want to pick them up or should I deliver them?

Tom: Don’t you want to know what I want six hippopotamuses for?

Joe: You should know my policy by now, Tom. I never ask questions.

Tom: I know. But it would be fun to tell you what I do with all the things you get for me.

Joe: Do you really want to tell me?
Tom: Yes. Yes. I do. I do.

Joe: Alright, Tom… (clang, clang, clang, clang) That’s the bell, Tom. I go off duty now. You can tell

me tomorrow.

Tom: Aw. I wanted to tell you today.

Joe: Sorry, Tom. Maybe I can supply you with something nice tomorrow.

Tom: I don’t want anything anymore. And I’ll never tell you what I do with all the things you got for me.

Joe: That’s up to you, Tom. Goodnight… (Tom exits. Enter Bill)

Bill: Hi Joe.

Joe: What ya say, Bill. Rough day?

Bill: No. For once all my little nuts behaved. How about you?

Joe: Pretty quiet… Can I ask you a question, Bill?

Bill: Sure. What is it?

Joe: What would a guy do with six hippopotamuses?

(They stare at each other for a moment. Bill shrugs and they exit).

*****

Gary Beck has spent most of his adult life as a theater director. He has 14 published chapbooks. His poetry collections include Days of Destruction (Skive Press), Expectations (Rogue Scholars Press), Dawn in Cities, Assault on Nature, Songs of a Clerk, Civilized Ways, Displays, Perceptions, Fault Lines, Tremors, Perturbations, Rude Awakenings and The Remission of Order (Winter Goose Publishing). Conditioned Response (Nazar Look), Virtual Living (Thurston Howl Publications), Blossoms of Decay, Expectations and Blunt Force (Wordcatcher Publishing). His  novels include Flawed Connections (Black Rose Writing), Call to Valor and Crumbling Ramparts (Gnome on Pig Productions), Sudden Conflicts (Lillicat Publishers). Acts of Defiance  (Wordcatcher Publishing). His short story collections include A Glimpse of Youth (Sweatshoppe Publications), Now I Accuse and other stories (Winter Goose Publishing) and Dogs Don’t Send Flowers and other stories (Wordcatcher Publishing). The Republic of Dreams and other essays (Gnome on Pig Productions). Feast or Famine and other one act-plays will be published by Wordcatcher Publishing. His original plays and translations of Moliere, Aristophanes and Sophocles have been produced Off Broadway. His poetry, fiction and essays have appeared in hundreds of magazines. He lives in New York City.